The AT RunVenture Project has become somewhat routine. As soon as we were home Celia and I took to planning the October segment. We now knew we’d have help from our friend James and his wife, Renee. They’d be driving up from GA to support us for most of the weekend. This was HUGE and we were so grateful. Frank, had also agreed to do what he could for us again. This also meant we needed a clear play by play for everyone to follow for crew stops, sleep plans etc.

The other major component of the planning was that being into the 3rd week of October it could easily be quite cold overnight and we needed inside sleeping arrangements for each night. This was all set and arranged within the first 10 days home from segment #9. Then, time moved slowly for me. I spent those weekends in between at the beach with my family, a work conference, my anniversary weekend and then apple picking, so I surely wasn’t without plenty to do, but the trail continued calling me back. Knowing I am in the middle of something big, makes it hard to not have a part of me that continues to pull me in that direction.

Well, they’ll be further write ups on the “in between” but I’ll get right to it. Celia flew into BWI airport at 2pm on Wednesday October 13th, which requires her to take a 2 hour shuttle from home. So after a full day's travel I had to make her wait at the airport as I finished up at work, then after I picked her up, we picked up my youngest son and made it home in time to get my oldest and his friend off the bus. From here, we packed up and then as soon as my Sister-in-law arrived for her weekly dinner with my boys, Celia and I headed out.

We drove for 4 hours to our planned stop point in New York and here in the dark at a trail parking lot we met Celia’s cousin, Josh, who picked us up and drove us back to Palmerton where we slept at a hostel. The drive with Josh was one of our favorite memories of the trip. Josh had about 1,000 questions about what we were doing, how we were doing it and so on. There was a lot of laughter as Celia and I explained our ridiculous adventure. Upon arriving at the hostel, Josh was uncomfortable with our strange sleeping arrangements. This was not our typical hiker hostel as there were not any hikers there. Nonetheless, sleeping in a bunk house with a curtain for doors and shared space for the first time is always a little weird. I found it interesting how comfortable Celia and I were with it after all of our experiences.

Since we’d arrived right around 12am, we fell asleep quickly and woke up on time for 4am on October 14th. I made coffee and started taking in calories. Josh headed out to his car to wait as we finished prepping and then we were off to the 1259.9 mile trail parking lot. Here we jumped out and put ourselves together. Then just after 5am, we were off.

The morning was chilly, I had my long sleeve and gloves on and enjoyed the crisp cool air. I was grateful for what looked like a lovely long weekend on the trail with some rain planned for Saturday afternoon into the evening only. We warmed quickly as we climbed to the summit of Blue Mountain Ridge. We were bouldering in the dark, often with darkness to one side or other, occasionally both, and I commented that perhaps climbing and heights were easier in the dark where you could not see how far you could potentially fall with a misstep or slip. It was a slow start to the day but we eventually made it to the top. We followed the ridgeline right into the daylight. Celia and I walked and chatted enjoying one another’s company for hours.

Usually I find my groove within an hour or two but I knew Celia was less than fired up about our weekend and that had me less than fired up too. I wasn’t worried about the distances or the terrain. I knew today would be the worst of the rocks on the entire Appalachian Trail at least until we made it up to New Hampshire and Maine. Perhaps I too was a little burnt out or maybe I was just enjoying myself taking it easy. Whatever the reason, we hung out together for about five and half hours before I found my pace pulling me further and further ahead of Celia.

I started to run a bit, but the rocks were challenging. They weren’t bigger than the rocks we’d seen, but they were less set. In other words, when you stepped on them they rocked, they rolled or they slid out from under your feet. They were everything they were promised to be. My ankles cranked in all directions and I could feel my tendons and ligaments around them and my knees contorting slightly as I tripped and stabilized over and over again, catching my weight on my hiking poles. I was working hard and moving well, but not without immense focus and effort. I knew Celia was not going to love this day.

I stopped at seasonal spring at mile 1286.9 which was very conveniently 240ft off trail and full of fresh looking water. I rehydrated and prepped for the final chunk of the day. I texted Celia and Frank and then headed back into the endless rocks. This section of PA had very little elevation gain or loss, there were a few gorgeous look out points and the yellow and orange leaves made for a beautiful trail. There wasn’t much to remember other than the rocks and the blur of the leaves.

I do recall a beautiful easy descent down to Delaware Water Gap, the colors, the sunshine and then you come out to a road that brings you to town. I was more than tempted to walk through town in search of a Pumpkin Spice Latte but knowing I was so close to literally bridging the state line into NJ and leaving “Rocksylvania” behind surged me on at a running pace. I pushed across the Delaware River Bridge until I came to the State Line. I paused for photos and messages to my husband before finishing my jog across and to the parking lot at Kittatinny Point Visitors Center.

I felt great, my ankles were sore from the day, but other than that I was feeling fresh as Frank scooped me up and drove me to our campsite for the night. I downed a cane sugar sarsaparilla soda before we finished the 7 minute drive. As soon as we parked I got out of my shoes and socks and into the slip on sandals Frank had brought. Then, as I knew it’d be best I started to eat plenty of chicken, a bag of Ben’s rice and some other snacks.

Renee and James were there, they’d arrived from their very long drive just a few more minutes before I did. In fact I saw them briefly as I came off the bridge and they pulled over for a very quick hello. At the campsite they were getting situated, so I focused on taking care of myself.

There were showers at the campsite but they were about ½ mile uphill walk away, so Frank offered to drive. I opted to wait for Celia to arrive. In the next hour or so Frank got back in his truck and headed to the parking lot where he’d hike in from to meet Celia and provide her some company in her final stretch. I stayed with James and Renee and we chatted about everything and nothing around a small fire.

Celia arrived a couple hours later and I was jumpy and excited to see her. I immediately started to try and help her anyway I could, but she was not really ready for that. She was exhausted. I backed off and gave her a little more space. She had a chance to eat and repack, charge all of her things. She made the decision not to shower and so I had James bring just me to the showers for a quick rinse.

The water wasn’t getting warm very quickly and I was trying to be fast so I began showering in the cold water, it was almost warm by the time I’d soaped up and scrubbed off the mud from my calves. Then it was hard to leave the warmth, but I forced myself to be swift. Dressed in warm sweats and a hoodie, double layered socks I went back to the car and James took me back to the campsite. We all prepped for bed and got cozy in our individual sleeping arrangements. As always, Celia and I tossed and turned for quite a while, but eventually we both rested. The next morning came, ironically, both too slow and too quickly as it typically does on our treks. We were both ready to be awake but groggy and stiff, intimidated by the day ahead of us. Coffee, calories, get dressed and pack up… it’s about the same every time, we’ve got it down. We didn’t account for extra time for James to get himself prepared but we tried not to stress as our start time ticked by as we loaded into the car for the short drive back to the lot.

Once we’d arrived, James, Celia and I did a final check on our gear and we started off walking down the road about 5:20am. We walked under Interstate 80 and jumped back onto the trail for a rock filled 6 mile climb to Raccoon Ridge. The climb took us up and then bordered Sunfish Pond, it felt as though the risk of falling right in was fairly high as the rocks grew into boulders. This was a fun stretch to share with James as his intro to the NJ Appalachian, but to be fair, this was Celia and my intro to NJ as well, luckily we’d had Pennsylvania as practice. We balanced, hopped and tripped along for a bit until the trail opened up just as sunlight began to approach. We finished the climb and we were treated to a gorgeous view.

We snapped our sunrise picture and I began to hike my hike and jog where I could. I thought James would come with me, but I wasn’t sure of his comfort level on the rocks and didn’t want to pressure him. He was in between Celia and I and the gaps grew as we came to the final view point. We all stopped for pictures, but I was still stressed by our late start and the slow first miles due to rocks and climbing. I was ready to make up time. As soon as I took my pictures, I began to descend, thinking that James was coming. About 50 yards away when I didn’t hear his footsteps I turned back to see him still taking in the view and then chatting with Celia. I, mistakenly, as I found out later, assumed he was planning to hang back with Celia, so I began to run again. I took the downhill hard to try and shave off time.

The trail remained riddled with rocks. They didn’t roll out from under your feet like they had the previous day but they still kept it challenging. I was feeling pretty well overall, a touch fatigued and not as good as I was expecting. I hiked the next climb to Catfish Fire Tower, took another beautiful picture and then continued on until I arrived at the lot with Renee waiting at Millbrook-Blairstown Road.

I snacked on a pop tart and refilled my water bottles. I made sure I had a few extra calories on me, just in case, but James was supposed to be 4 miles up at the next stop. In case that didn’t work out I made sure to be prepared, unlike prior segments. I chatted with Renee but then knew I needed to push on.

The next 2 miles were gorgeous but rocky and then suddenly the trail opened up to a two lane track, smooth and covered in yellow leaves. I kicked into a run and held a sub 10 min mile over the nearly flat terrain which dumped me out to Blue Mountain Lakes road. Here I saw two people walking up the road, not hikers, but people who looked like they were going to work or something. I couldn’t quite make sense of it.

I had paused my watch when I stopped, expecting to wait for James. I’d messaged him about a mile back and figured he’d be a few minutes yet. After 15 minutes I texted him and he responded that the road was blocked, he was trying another route, his current ETA was 14 minutes. I replied that unless he said otherwise I was going to continue onward and plan to see him 10 miles up the trail. He agreed I should go on.

I took off past the beaver bog and struggled not to get lost amongst the trail divisions, looking closely and carefully for my white blazes. I climbed Rattlesnake Mountain and planned a stop at the upcoming stream to rehydrate and refill my water supply. I enjoyed 5 minutes sitting down as I chugged nice cool water and allowed my system to recalibrate. The temperatures were unusually warm for October, a pleasant surprise, but it meant that the 12 or so ounces of water I’d taken in for the first 18 miles was not enough.

I felt better very quickly and I rolled along to Blue Mountain, checking off the shelter after that as a checkpoint. The terrain continued in a rocky, rolling fashion much the same as all of Pennsylvania had. I came to the Acropolis, a beautiful view point where I sat on a log for another 5 minute break and took more pictures. From there I had a steep descent to the next parking lot and while descending I checked my phone and read a message from James, “We’ve got a problem…”

My phone had been on airplane mode for the better part of 2 hours, so I tried to catch up on the situation. I texted Celia to make sure she was alright and I called James, Renee answered, which gave me a huge sense of relief. The road to the last meet up location was closed, completely. James was stuck unable to get his wife or provide aid to Celia, which was secondary to getting Renee off the trail before the 10 mile stretch. As I got filled in, Celia said she had continued on, much like I did and Renee had to walk back a bit on trail and then down the road towards James. Her 4 mile hike had become 7 miles and James was pretty stressed but everyone and everything was okay by that point.

I arrived at the trailhead parking lot and drank a starbucks double shot can and a soylent while snacking on some rice chips. I refilled everything and sat on the pavement. I was not feeling great but was still making great time and wanted to keep gaining on the day. After a few more minutes to take in excess calories and pack extra I was ready to walk.

I began walking and my stomach ached with feeling overstretched from the liquid intake and soon from the massive calorie dump as the glucose flooded by blood stream. It was hot, it wasn’t really terrible but about 76 degrees in mid October, which was absolutely unusual for NJ. The heat mixed with my overfed state and one of our only climbs for the day up to Culver Fire Tower made me feel like molasses, but I was still hiking strong. For 45min I just hiked waiting to feel better and then amongst the rocks and millions of leaves and fairly flat trail I found some drive to jog.

I jogged for seconds, then minutes, walking again to let my heart rate stay comfortable. I spent the better part of the next hour after that jogging, surprising myself again with feeling much better and having strong energy levels. I pushed up to Sunrise Mountain and here I was texting the crew again as this was a planned crew stop. I was not surprised when they shared that they could not be there. They were still waiting for Celia to come into the trailhead parking area.

I enjoyed the view for a few minutes in the large pavilion and snapped photos amongst a small swarm of ladybugs. Then I took off running again after texting that I really hoped James could run into me at the next stop and/ or do that last few miles with me. The plan was for both Celia and I to get some running support on this stretch so I hoped for some company, even though I knew I’d be fine without it. Celia would need company in the dark.

From Sunrise Mountain to Deckertown Turnpike was mostly joggable, the terrain remained the same, rocks and leaves, some up some down but nothing major. I crossed into the Deckertown Turnpike parking lot and waited for a few, I texted Renee who shared that James was running with Celia and that she was on her way to me now, she’d be a few more minutes. I had brought enough extra, planning for this scenario so I was fine to go on and finish the day's miles. I texted her back that I’d get to the finish point in a little over an hour and send a message to her then.

At first this section seemed fine, similar to the last 30 miles before it, but then it became hard. The rocks worsened again and a steep death defying descent added to the fun. I texted Celia what the last few miles had in store, hoping to myself that she found some push to get past this section before nightfall. I tripped my way out of the woods and into the High Point State Park Headquarters parking lot.

Once I’d confirmed with Renee that she couldn’t be there I messaged the hostel owner, Mosey, and she came and picked me up and brought me back to her home. There I spent time chatting with Scott, a hiker who lived in CA but was simultaneously hiking both the AT and PCT in sections. He hiked 3 weeks per year on the AT, 3 weeks on the PCT, spent another 3 weeks biking up Coastal Rte 1 and the rest of time doing other interesting things with his retirement from the Fire department.

Mosey, she was no less amazing, she’d retired from a full career with the Post Office and thru hiked the AT in 2015, a year notorious for its wet hardships. She then opened the hostel and continues to support hikers and still hikes plenty herself. She explained she’d be closing the hostel for a few months while she went down to hike the Florida Trail.

After a bit too much chatter I finally stepped away to shower and Scott and Mosey left for a Walmart run. After my shower I knew I needed food and my resources were minimal as I’d left my wallet with Renee many miles back. I started looking through the hiker box, which was actually a table top display of food goodies. I found a pasta side and two packets of tuna. I ate the tuna as I cooked the pasta and then by the time I’d eaten all of that I was very comfortable and full.

Scott and Mosey returned and offered to take me to dinner for mexican and Scott even offered to pay. It was a lovely offer, but not only had just eaten plenty, but Renee was now on her way after seeing Celia and James out of the Deckertown Turnpike parking lot. Scott and Mosey left again and I started my laundry and then I sat on the couch and surfed Netflix options.

Renee soon arrived and she looked exhausted. She said she wasn’t feeling great, she explained she had a bit of a migraine from the long day and the poor diet. I gave her one of my migraine medications and let her get settled into the hostel a bit. I needed to get to an ATM to get cash to pay for the hostel stay and that was pressing. As soon as Renee was ready we knocked out that errand. After that, Renee was able to shower.

It was now dark outside and I was saddened by the struggle I knew Celia was in. No one can hike that last section in the dark with a small headlamp and not struggle for their balance and their sanity. Almost as soon as Renee had gotten out of the shower, I received the text that Celia and James were almost there. Renee left in the car to go get them. I sat and continued to chat with Mosey and Scott.

Once Celia arrived, she still held a smile but she wasn’t happy. She was exhausted. I tried to help where I could but internally I was stressing out. Our last segment, literally just a few miles until we were out of the rocks for a bit and Celia’s drive had fizzled, her want to grit through the trail had waned. Our 200 mile segment dream had been decreased to a 180, then to a 160mile segment to keep it doable, but it was seemingly still pushing too much.

I’d been trying to reach Dave all evening, not realizing the plan at home for my kids had changed and so he was not free but I needed to vent, to cry to someone. I was sad and frustrated by Celia’s lack of passion, where the heck did it go? I was out here still running, still wanting to be gritty and push harder, further, longer, but the mismatch between us had grown from minutes to hours and it wasn’t physical so much as mental. I couldn’t totally grasp it, as no one can truly hold another's exact feelings in their heart and mind. I mean, I understood it, logically, we had after all been pushing ourselves for a full year between training and the last 9 segments and 1300 miles behind us. Logic had nothing to do with how I felt.

I was frustrated that James couldn’t have run with me more, that I was alone the entire day again, that I should be different, more easy to run with, less me. I got it all out and a few tears fell. Dave said what he could, which wasn’t much. I just couldn’t imagine the growing tension in me getting better in the following 48 hours and I worried about our overall goal. By the time we’d hung up, everyone was in bed.

I climbed into my dark bunk to settle in and listened to Scott snore. I tried for a while and could not find sleep. I wondered about sleeping in the living room. I waited a long time, trying to find sleep but it would not come. Around 12am I headed to the couch, worried I was breaking Hostel code somehow but I really wanted to sleep some. I tossed and turned and tried other positions but the worry I’d be caught and that somehow not being in the bunkroom was a “no no” kept me slightly on guard. 1am passed, then 2, then 3 and Celia had gotten up for some water. Finally at 3:30am I turned on the coffee pot. Celia and I got ready and were both a little hopeful to get on the trail early. Celia would love to avoid another nighttime finish.

Celia and I packed up, eating and drinking coffee as usual. We watched James pack up and pick his gear for his second long day on the trail, amazed by how good he was feeling after 27 miles the prior day. Time slipped away.

Celia and I found ourselves suddenly quite stressed as we watched our start time come and go and James and Renee were still packing up. Our hopes of being early to the trail were dashed as we tried to help push everyone into the car without being rude. We arrived back at the High Point HQ and about 15 minutes late, at 5:15ish am we started going North. 2 more days left to our journey for 2021 and just 3 more miles of rocks. We climbed up to the observation tower, though I don’t remember seeing it in the dark and tripped our way down the descent that followed. It was here, amongst the rocks that Celia shared she felt really awful. She was nauseated, shaky and very sweaty. She was going to slow down.

The rocks opened into pastures and we cruised through the dawning light. I was bit ahead, as usual, and mentally I churned over and over about how Celia had come through every time she doubted herself. I knew she’d find her groove, didn’t I? She mentioned that morning that having Renee and a car available might be too much today. I guess although I’d heard her say it, I didn’t really think she was that close to meaning it.

As we took our sunrise picture. Celia said, “I’m done, I’m having Renee meet me and I’m done, I feel really bad.” My eyes welled with tears, I fought hard to hold them back, but it was obvious. We had a moment. James was there but Celia and I had to figure out what to do. We’d discussed this possibility a hundred times but it hadn’t come in 1,344 miles. Standing there, Celia told me to keep going, that I could even push higher miles if I wanted and she would figure it out, her miles, some time later. I was suddenly sad, angry and frustrated all at once, I really couldn’t bottle that up so I turned and ran on with James right behind me.

We arrived at the road crossing only minutes later and we all stopped and confirmed again that Celia was really stopping and I was really going. My head was spinning. I tried to think of who to talk to and who might answer at 7am. Keith had been witness to the in-depth version of AT RunVenture Project, the victories and the struggles between Celia and I. I messaged him with no response (later I found he was out running). I knew I needed Dave, so I risked it and I called him, only for him to answer from bed with my sleeping 3yr old in view. I whispered while running, “I really need your help” and he said he’d call me back. I kept on running with intermittent tears and tons of adrenaline pumping. James was running smooth and we both noticed the rocks had lessened quite a bit.

Finally, Dave called me back and for 10 minutes while running across a boardwalk section of the Appalachian trail I explained the morning and I expressed that I felt I shouldn’t be going on without Celia. We talked about the project and the “together” mission of the thing. We talked about the public perspective, a concern of mine, and we talked about my heart. He said, “It sounds like you have your answer.” I thanked him and chatted with my kids for a few minutes while still maintaining a decent jog, feeling a bit like a rockstar not falling on my face as I multitasked.

James and I came to the planned meet up place, the parking lot at NJ Route 284. I walked up to Celia’s door as she was opening it and I blurted out, before she could fight back, “I’m stopping, I am not going on without you, it’s the right thing to do and Dave told me tell you that if you get mad at me for it he’ll put your things outside…” I maintained my sarcastic smile while also expressing sadness and seriousness. Celia nodded and asked me only once more if I was sure and I confirmed that I was.

As it turned out Celia had accidentally stolen Scott’s battery pack so the four of us drove back to the hostel to return it. Mosey had breakfast cooking. We sat, I ate and we all came up with a plan. I explained that after Celia rested we’d need to go back and hike the last 5 miles together to get her to where I’d stopped. She agreed hesitantly as she truly felt terrible.

We were there a long time, I was barely keeping it together. It was a gorgeous day and I was 4 hours from home. I belonged on the trail and not eating bacon and eggs sitting around... and yet like many DNFs (Did Not Finish), there is no fault, there is not any one thing you could have done to change it, yet it feels like a loss. DNF is a term coined for races, and even though our trek is far from a race, it had a planned “finish line” and we hadn’t made it there.

Finally, we headed back to the trail. Renee, Celia and I hiked the 5 miles in the warm autumn air, taking it all in. Celia and I knew this was a sort of goodbye to the AT for the season. I was grateful for the extra time on the trail I’ve only grown more fond of over the past 10 months. I didn’t cry anymore, just breathed in the air, the colors, the sounds of the leaves.

After we finished, James drove Celia and I back to my car in NY. Once inside it and on the road back to Maryland Celia and I talked and talked and talked. She had experienced her first DNF. She was hurting on many different levels. I felt a similar but different loss, a DNF for “us” together, 70 miles short of our intended finish, our already shortened, intended finish.

Once home we had cut and pasted our calendars and the best we could do was to add a short and presumably very cold weekend in March 2022 to make up some miles. Then we’d have to add a day onto our third segment in the spring and that would get us back on track. We’ve got 840 miles left to go and we’ve got big plans to get it done.

We’re not any less excited to get to Maine. Maybe we’re burnt out, maybe exhausted, maybe done for a few ice cold months, but not less excited. We’ll both heal in the ways we must, and return in March ready to take on the northern end of the Appalachian Trail, together.

Special Thanks to Josh, Frank, James and Renee for the aid, support, food, driving and love you shared with us on this segment. We could not have even started the 90 miles we did cover without you all!